Finding Your Passion

I self-examine often. This is a practice I picked up when I returned to GOD after being away for many years; I want to make sure that I haven't slipped. You see, I'm a pretty carnal individual. I have weaknesses in my flesh that will rip me away from GOD if I allow them to, so I have to perform an all systems check (ASC) on a regular basis. It's a good practice and I highly recommend it to everyone. I think we were told somewhere that we should pay attention or we'll fall… (yeah, loose translation).


Recently I was performing a regularly scheduled ASC and I began thinking about my passion for GOD. I asked myself several questions: 1) am I truly sold out to GOD and His Mission?; 2) am I truly practicing what I preach?; 3) do i truly have a love for His Word? There were more questions, but—as they're somewhat private—I'll just keep those between GOD and myself, thank you very much.


Honestly, I wasn't too happy with my answers to these questions. My first response was to candy-coat a generalized form-response that made me seem spiritual, but was about as deep as a sheet of paper. I was amazed at just how easy it was to lie to myself. I guess I've grown so used to giving pat answers to questions that my programed response just flew out without me having to truly think about what I was going to say.


I wonder how often this happens?


Realization dawned on me that I was avoiding the truth of the matter at hand, that while I may be fully engrossed in work and effort that is loosely related to GOD and His Mission, I'm not always passionate for Him. It's almost as if I'm more passionate about the idea of GOD than I am about GOD Himself. It's easy to get so busy doing the work of GOD (italics added to emphasis the fallacy of the premise) that we overlook Him altogether. This is where I found myself. Change must needs come.


Thank You GOD for Your mercy.


What is the most important thing in your life? Be honest, we're not looking for a spiritual answer, just the truth. Now, examine your life and see if your answer matches reality. Matthew's Gospel records Jesus saying that the things we treasure determine our passion; our heart. If I can expand on this, the things we talk about the most are the things we're the most passionate about. Look back through your Twitter feed, your Facebook status updates… what are you talking about? Think back over your work conversations, your interaction with friends, your response to life-happens moments (to quote Forrest Gump, "It happens.")… what are you saying in each of these moments? Luke 6:45 says that we speak out of the abundance of our heart. To put this another way, our passions will rise to the surface.


I'm not sure that I can honestly say that I'm totally sold out to His Mission. There are many other things and efforts that—if I'm truly honest—I have made more important in my life than GOD. When I read about the Apostles hazarding themselves for the Good News I'm embarrassed. I've never hazarded myself. I've never put my very life on the line for GOD. Yes, I know that society and life are different now than in the 1st Century, but even adjusting for the acceptance of Christianity by society as a whole, I've never really put myself out there. Sure I've fed homeless and/or needy people, I've even been known to knock a door or twelve, but is that what equates with hazarding myself? I don't think I've ever even been close to the mindset that says, "Self be damned, I'm following GOD."


I've never had to.


I'm passionate about the things that entertain me, I'm passionate about the food that fills my belly, I'm passionate about having things my way at the moment I demand them, but… passionate about GOD?


Recently I watched a video on YouTube® of a Hillsong concert in London. They were singing Chris Tomlin's song How Great Is Our God, one of my all-time favorites. The camera panned across the stadium over a mass of people, and—while I understand the production choices of choosing the best shot—there was not a person in the crowd that didn't have their hands raised in surrender to GOD, face lifted in worship, completely lost in singing about the greatness of our GOD. I was moved to tears. I couldn't wait until our next worship experience. I couldn't wait to get in a room with other believers and worship GOD like that. The time came, I began to lead the congregation in worship, I closed my eyes and began to focus on GOD and what I was saying to Him about Himself… I was completely lost in the moment. I opened my eyes to see what was going on around me and what I saw almost took the wind out of my sails. Less than 10% of congregation was even singing. Most were looking around for something to distract them, playing with their kids or even staring blankly into space thinking about who knows what, smugly arrogant in the fact that they had all the Truth. It took everything in me to get through the remainder of the service.


This image stayed with me the rest of the afternoon. I kept going over and over the service in mind, wondering what I—as the worship leader—had done wrong. After beating my head against the proverbial wall for several hours, I began to realize that I had not been able to lead the congregation into complete and total worship because they weren't passionate about what they were doing. But this didn't make sense. The mass of people at Hillsong Live don't have all the Truth (or so I've been told), and the congregation I was leading were all good pentecostals… wait, maybe that was the problem. Somewhere along the way the good pentecostals had lost their passion for GOD while the non-pentecostals had realized that they still needed GOD, therefore were passionate about worshiping Him.


How often do we forget Who we're worshiping during a worship experience?


Now, I'm fully aware that this example isn't indicative of every pentecostal gathering around the world. For that matter, it doesn't even represent every worship experience of the congregation used in the example. I also know that because I used this example that I will be castigated further, but seriously, I couldn't care less, so do your worst. I do—however—believe that GOD wanted to illuminate something to me by allowing me to experience this. I believe that on this particular Sunday I saw us the way GOD sees us; distracted, lethargic, disconnected, going through the ritual of our religion devoid of true intimacy with our Lover. I believe that GOD was showing me how He sees me all too often. I realized that not only do I not always worship with everything, far too often I don't do anything for GOD with all of myself. More often than not I hold myself back from being truly passionate about GOD and His Mission.


If there's anything in our lives that we place before GOD and His Mission, that thing has become a god to us; whether it be our family, our job, school, entertainment, church (and here I go again—quick, name that tune), relationships, anything or anyone—if we prefer it/them before GOD, then they/it become(s) a god to us.


What does it mean to be passionate about GOD's Mission?


Very simply it means to prefer GOD's Mission before our own. It means that we filter every hope, dream, aspiration through the filter of the Mission, and if it doesn't fit we leave it behind. Hazarding ourselves doesn't just apply to our mortality, it also applies to our emotions, our will, every part of our being.


Are you and I willing to give up everything to see His Mission fulfilled?


GOD told Hosea to marry a whore. Gomer represented everything that Hosea wasn't. She was filth, and by marrying her, Hosea opened himself up to the ridicule and castigation of the very people to whom he was to represent GOD. And—because we all understand human nature—we know that the people had a field day with him. They probably ate more Hosea for dinner than they did lamb kabobs. Yes, this story is a story of the undying love that GOD has for His people, but there's a sub-story here that we may overlook if we're not careful. Hosea could have told GOD no. He could have refused to debase himself by marrying Gomer. He could have refused to go bring her back when she left him to return to prostitution. He could have decided that his reputation as a man of GOD was more important than doing what GOD had called him to do. He could have, but he didn't. Hosea hazarded himself for GOD's Mission. It didn't matter the cost, he was willing to be and do what GOD purposed. Hosea was passionate about GOD and His Mission.


In His humanity, Jesus was passionate about His Father's Mission. He ignore the privilege of Deity and preferred the status of a slave [Philippians 2:5-8]. The humanity of Jesus is our ultimate life example, and He sacrificed Himself completely. Who are we to think that we can do less? Jesus walked into the religious environment of the 1st Century and confronted the bloated religiosity of His people head on. He flew in the face of everything they held as sacrosanct, constantly compelling them to experience this new, more abundant life that He was offering. So passionate was He with the Father's Mission that He willingly drank the cup of every sin that had ever been or ever would be committed. Not only did He take the sins on Himself, He took the filth, pleasure, hurt, ecstasy, perversion, lust, fear, loathing of our human stink and drank it into Himself. He was passionate about His Purpose. How can I—in the face of my Savior's Passion—prefer my own existence? How can you?


Jesus said that if we will seek GOD's Kingdom first He'll take care of the rest [Matthew 6:30-34]. I like the way The Message paraphrases this Text: Steep your life in GOD-reality, GOD-initiative, GOD-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. When we become passionate about GOD and His Mission He takes care of details.


My prayer is that passion for GOD overwhelms us all until we're consumed with His Mission and Purpose. GOD burn up the religiosity that is in me. Cleanse me of my pentecostalness. Wash me of my denominational arrogance that assumes that I have arrived. Penetrate me with your Purpose until passion for You is conceived at the center of my very being.


I'm determined to hazard myself for GOD and His Mission. After all, the less of me the world sees, the more of Him that can shine into their darkness.